I don’t often wear grumpy pants – but clearly I do have a pair that I sit in, now and again. I’ve been frustrated that some of the people I love most in the world sometimes talk to each other in a less than totally loving way. At least today I realised that it’s not my job to sort things out all the time – or be peacekeeper. Sometimes I possibly make things worse. People can’t see what they don’t want to see, or hear what they don’t want to hear – so pointing it out only annoys them and it upsets me more when they go to defensive and/or attack mode.
Which is no less than I do myself. So when I hear I’m grumpy I could go to defence mode (my usual stance), or sit back and observe. This curiousness-thing is fascinating; to observe as a witness/be mindful is teaching me so much.
Like when I’m really tired, my voice goes even quieter than normal. As if the effort of talking is almost too much – and I then get annoyed when I’m asked to repeat what people actually didn’t hear. Or when I’m really tired my tone changes to a flatter tone that could sound grumpy. No. It does sound grumpy. What I’ve also learned is that sometimes when I remove myself from a situation, others just get on with talking to each other.
I dont know why things are currently being attracted into my life or why there are what seem to be needless delays in things happening. I am Mrs Impatience, wanting answers and solutions NOW, please and thank you. As I went to write “no patience” I wrote “know patience” so my unconscious mind is already working on that, it would seem!
Maybe it really is, as the wise woman told me, time to learn patience and time to put me first for a while and let others do the nurturing. Maybe too, as Lee keeps telling me, it’s just time to be quiet, and go to sleep when my body says it’s time to do that even if it IS silly o’clock. Who knows? What I do know is – like Annie – that tomorrow is another day and I will probably feel quite quite different. 🙂