I’ve just changed my Twitter handle to Dare To Be Happier, as I know that is the one message I want to share with people that would make a difference in the world. Over the past few weeks, as I looked forward to the next stage in my life, I realised that this anger and hurt is something that I can no longer hold on to if I am personally to Dare To Be Happier. And since I’m commited to teaching this, I must learn it fully myself..!
The adventure begins..and I’m calling it an adventure, because I know it’s really important to frame things in a positive way. Dealing with anger is something we all have to face, so we need to find ways to feel our emotions and express these appropriately, knowing when it may be appropriate to feel anger (against injustice for instance), and to feel our emotions instead of avoiding them. The Project Me 101/Nurturing was something I anticipated as being less than totally easy, as I knew it would involve a lot of change – now, on the other side of that, I see the blessings. So while part of me fears the work I have committed to do in at last dealing with anger, another part of me knows that it really IS time to let go of what no longer serves me – and I also now know that all will be well, because anger is simply stored somewhere if it’s not dealt with. That can be our mind and our bodies, and when that happens, it harms us when we probably thought it was protecting us.
Because under anger is fear – and when we are afraid, we want protection, from being ignored, hurt, silenced, being mute, rejection, of not being loved, perfect or good enough. On the other side of this is love, love for myself first, always. Last week, my friend Jane spoke about finding out she was her OWN rock, and I thought, wow! Imagine how you’d live if you thought you were own rock? And then I thought about how you’d live if you believed you were love and loved, because if you lived from such a place, there wouldn’t be that much room for anger, really… and you would dare to be happier.
And so I turned to my journal this morning, in my beautiful new office, with Wayne Dyer’s new I AM meditation CD in the background playing. Having listened to it yesterday for the first time, he said to decide what “I am” you wanted to focus on, and he gave some examples, one of which was perfect for me – “I am in possession of my perfect job.” I started with that, but towards the end, it just changed totally, and became I AM Love and forgiveness, which in itself seemed to appear out of nowhere, but then I know differently. If I start to meditate thinking that, I can’t help but being changed.
Love is the antidote for fear, and therefore of anger. Somehow I know this will be important on me to focus on, and I park that. I then start to read A Course in Miracles, but in the move to the office, I’ve lost my bookmarked space, so have to go back to the start of the chapter to find where I am again. Oh the lessons in the words we choose; to find where I am again?! I hadn’t noticed it was called “Lessons in Love,” and I think, wow – there’s that perfect timing thing again. And then I read the first few sentences – in a chapter called lessons in love, and this is what it says:
“The relationship of anger to attack is obvious, but the relationship of anger to fear is not always apparent. Anger always involves projection of separation, which must ultimately be accepted as one’s own responsibility, rather than being blamed on others. Anger cannot occur unless you believe that you have been attacked, that your attack is justified in return, and that you are in no way responsible for it.”
Wow again. Anger and fear, anger and fear and separation, our willingness to take responsibility and not blame – and the idea of attack being justified (even if the attack is on ourselves). Prolonged anger harms us physiologically, with hormones and adrenalin activated, and it harms us pyschologically, as the fear behind it stops us living the life we want to live, in case “it” happens again – or doesn’t happen again, against our ego’s fears that we are not good enough, or that we will not be safe, or be strong. The sooner we let it go, the sooner we let the past go, the sooner we are living the life we want. This really IS Daring To Be Happier.. and yes, I dare.