And in the silence, I will hear

Leaving 2011 behind

I’m loving what people are affirming their intentions for 2012 will be… and there is a pattern there that I don’t remember seeing before.  It’s as if many know that external changes are desired, but the ultimate aim is to change internally in some way, to expect more from their lives or appreciate what they already have, or to grow in some way.  2011 is a year that many are glad to leave behind.  It gave opportunities for growth, it allowed others to accept “what is,” and yet others suffered the loss of loved ones or dealt with serious illness or dis-ease they never anticipated, and had they thought about it in advance, would have known they could not have coped.  Yet they all have survived, albeit changed. 

Lessons learned & learning to let go

Who knows what the next year will bring?  Since there is so much that is beyond our control, all we can do at the start of a year is set our intent, and ask that what happens is for our highest good.  I’ve had a most unusual year that I could never have foreseen this time last year.  It’s a year when I’ve made many mistakes, learned a lot of lessons about time. Energy, trust,  expectations and assumptions, and made a lot of new friends, (and probably enemies).  It’s also been a year when slowly, I’ve started to let go of things (including pride and my need to do everything myself) and people,( including those who wished to go of their own free will and those who just left without saying anything).  In the past, those who left or distanced themselves from me would have left me feeling dejected and rejected, but it’s testament to how I’m changing that I’ve allowed them to go -and asked that the Universe blesses them with love and joy, strength and peace as the go.  In itself, this is a miracle for me.  

Miracles R Us

Since I blogged on my intention for 2012, I’ve had a lot of questions about what a miracle is, and why I think I should see these – and frankly, I’ve no real idea, except that I’ve been drawn to this book many times and found it by a wonderful “accident” when on holidays.  I may study it and at the end know it’s not for me, but I start reading it with an open mind – and what IT says is that it doesn’t matter who or what you are, miracles are for you.  It doesn’t matter what your past  or background is, just know that they “undo the past in the present, and thus release the future.”  And franky, I’m up for that.

Passport at the ready

At this point, I’d say a miracle would be something that is way beyond what I could expect from natural laws, and indeed it might even be what others call grace, or others may call serendipity.   The Course in Miracles seems to have many definitions that I’ll be exploring for myself, and I expect it will be quite a journey internally and externally.  

And I will be exploring for myself.  I have a wide range of friends with various beliefs or “no” beliefs and I can see that a few of them do not help in living on a daily basis.  I know some who believe strongly in God who are deeply unhappy but appear jolly, and I know some who have no belief in God and who on the surface appear to have it all together, yet are also deeply unhappy and live lives that are so much less than they long for.  They are also those who think a focus on keeping your attitude positive is a waste of time, which I found to be quite interesting…  I start with a belief in a higher power, that is outside of us all and has positive intent for my life, and who is actually interested in me as an individual human being.  In that respect, I’m with Einstein, who said we should see the Universe as a friendly place, and that’s as good a view to take as any, given how the Reticular Activating System works.

Walking in truth

Once upon a time, I knew the truth, and that was the truth, the whole truth – and the only truth.  I fought hard to defend that truth from attack, and I lived from a place that knew that mine was the right truth, but now I know differently.  Not only do I have quite different beliefs about absolutism and fundamentalism, I know that my responsibility is simply to find MY truth and live it and breathe it.  It’s none of my nosy business what others do.  It is not for me to judge your walk against mine, or compare your beliefs with mine except to see which “fit” me.  Indeed, I do not have the time to judge or compare, if I am to concentrate on my walk and be open to my own soul lessons!  Instead,  knowing I have no right to meddle or interfere, I respect your right to walk in your truth, to learn your own lessons, to hear the voices you need to hear for the growth of your soul.  My only responsibility is to me; – and believe me when I say that this attitude is a miraculous change.

New Year’s Eve Silence

Today is New Year’s Eve (called Hogmanay in Scotland), and I have much to do to get the house ready for our guests and for tomorrow and next week.  I know that many are doing a massive house clean and tidy to “sweep out the old,” a great metaphor of what we want for our lives.  I’m not doing that, as I’m still not feeling that well, which at least reminds me that self-care and health are indeed to be a priority, but the girls have helped me do the essentials.  Normally, I would push myself on through it, but since I can’t shift what I’ve now had nearly continuously from September, I didn’t – and didn’t feel guilty because I knew I needed to take the time to heal.  And to be silent with my journal – and what I read was about immersing oneself in the immense silence to find God, the Divine, the Universe within in order to catch fire.  I haven’t started thinking about what that might mean….

Silence is a rare thing these days across the world, and a rare thing for me, given I fill my time up with people, social media, words, music, news, facts and anything that I believed would help me to grow and continuously improve.   But in leaving little space to breathe, this greediness for growth and knowing more meant that there was all-ways noise.  In being a multi-tasker instead of a mono-tasker, perhaps all I’ve really done is pick up little bits of lots of things and hold on to these, when little of it is of value to others, or to my soul.   In the noise, I cannot hear my heart speak.   So 2012 means it’s time to instead be greedy for silence and to now absorb what I all-ready know, and to focus on less instead of more.  And in the silence, I will hear, and in the hearing, learn to move from fear to love.

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