We learn to protect ourselves from pain – sometimes to such an extent that we destroy ourselves, our self esteem, our relationships.
Can we change? We can – we aren’t leopards. There is hope for anyone to change, if they choose to change. It may be instant or it may take considerable time, where you spend time in analysis to figure out why you acted in the way you did, why you made the choices you made – but and only where you use the information to move you forward.
There are many reasons why we don’t change. In the first instance we may not even be aware that we are continue to do the wrong things for all the right reasons, and the cycle perpetuates itself. Or it may be that we don’t change because we are not sure if it is possible to do things differently. Yet if we continue to do what we have always done, why should we be surprised that we continue to get the same results time after time.
What if we gave ourselves permission to try something different? What if it what we tried didn’t work – could we be gentle enough on ourselves to acknowledge the bravery that made us try something different, and wise enough to learn the lessons from that failure so we can try something else?
If we live the lives we want to live we can’t continue to constantly worry about other people, what they want, their problems, their issues. They are responsible for choosing their own path in life, so remind them of that. If you feel that you are always thinking of others needs, trying to help them, always giving never accepting, always controlling or being controlled, or feeling angry, upset or used then you may have deeper issues to deal with and a therapy such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy may help.
If your moods are dependant on others moods or behaviour, then there is hope – for there is absolutely no need for this to be the case. You decide how you think. And making that choice to harness your mind is the most significant change you might ever make in your life.