“Sometimes the strings to our past are burned because we need a new beginning.” Carolyn Myss
I read this quote in February – and it helped me reframe a big part of my life. Do you remember the year 2000? It was the Millennium year – a year that led to many people making significant changes in their life. And I was one of them. In hindsight, of course, I may well have chosen a better way to leave my marriage; but I also know that at the time, I was doing the best I could with the skills and experience and wisdom available to me then, and I see that with compassion.
It became a year of freedom and standing up for my life, but it was also a year of overwhelming loss that included a normal family life and friends and church families. It also was a loss of who I was and what gave me my identity even more completely than had been the case in my marriage as I allowed myself to lose my voice. I then found that I swung far over to a place of hardness and brashness that would take me 18 months to settle back to being the Real Me again.
Yet however painful that was, I can see now that it needed to happen. Had I remained there, I would have completely died spiritually. I would have remained on a pedestal; lonely but judgemental, harsh and self-righteous. I would still be a puppet of my past and my culture, constrained by those to be who others wanted me to be. To function and act in a way others told me I must, and to keep living my life wearing second hand beliefs.
Had I stayed in my past, I would never have known how resilient I was, or known I could study for six years while holding down one or two jobs to get a degree in Human Resource Management, with distinction. Or that I would end up being a Master NLP Practiotioner and Hypnotherapist or a Reiki Practiotioner. Or that I would learn I could swim and not sink when a job I took on completely changed three days later which led to me suddenly being part of the senior management team of a major government contract. I would never have been a JP or believed I could ever start a debate on violent crime or stand for election as an MSP.
I would never have met the amazing people I now hold as Anam Cara’s. I would not have understood my value as a human being or as being part of the Divine. I would not have known the heights of passion. I would not have known the tender love that cherishes me always, with this new husband who gave me hope and gives me wings.
Other people in the world would not have learned from my story or been encouraged by my actions. My children would not have known the fierce father love that protects them from a man who vowed to love and cherish them on our wedding day. They would never have learned that money does not buy you love or happiness , that real spirituality is just about being real, or that diamonds come from ashes. They would not have known the touch of grace or seen and lived the wonder of miracles.
Endings always mean new beginnings. You may be facing an ending right now that you did not want or could not have seen. Go with your flow. Trust that the Universe knows what your soul needs and will bring it to you. See the love behind it. All will be well.