Please Listen To Me

If you are anything like me, you might find it less than totally easy to just listen to someone. With your full and undivided attention. It’s SO hard just to pay full attention to what someone is saying to you without planning out your response or jumping in with comments or advice. And it can be an automatic response to share our “That reminds me of the time when I…” and the “I know exactly how you feel..” stories. So I loved this reminder of how we can contribute to someone’s happiness by doing nothing other than keeping our ears open, and our mouth shut….

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.
Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap – 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

And I can do it for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact
that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding
what’s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense
when we understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works – sometimes – for some people, because God is mute. And he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. God just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn,
and I will listen to you.

Author Unknown

0 thoughts on “Please Listen To Me

  1. Jan April 23, 2012 / 10:09 pm

    This is very profound and such wise words. Thank you Caroline.

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