Valentine’s Day can be a hard day if you are single. It’s seems like all that matters is love and romance and the “whole world” is in a relationship except you – but you can forget that many in relationships are not happy either, and many in relationships will have a partner who does not appreciate small gestures of love. I wanted to remind my two girls how beautiful they are, and that they are not poorer for choosing to be single right now. I wanted them to waken up to a message of love. I share this with their permission.
This is what you have learned. I love you. I love the women you are, who are loving life and doing what you love. I love that you have known love and known to walk away from what can’t be love. That you have put yourselves first. That you respect yourselves. I love you. I know that you know that it is better to be single than in the wrong relationship. I also know that can be lonely sometimes. But hold out. Hold on for better and best. Today is just one day. Make it a day you love YOU. Love will come. The right love, the good love. The love that gives you wings, to be free and all of you. But today? Today is a day of joy. To love life. To be glad we have each other. To celebrate health and family. Make it a great day. And by the way… Did I tell you how much I love you?
I live a hectic life, full of people and places to be. It was not always this way. Growing up as I did at the edge of an Irish country estate, in it’s former gate house, I was far away from school friends but that didn’t appear to matter a huge amount. I spent much of my days reading or in “my” woods, wandering freely for miles on my own.
Somewhere in between that time and now, life happened. Sometimes, the noise and business was necessary, because then I drowned out pain, hurt, rejection or loneliness. Sometimes it was necessary because if I allowed myself to be still, I would meet who I really was, and for so many years, it was easier to run than face that lack of perfection. But that was exhausting, and learning to love myself was, in the end, easier.
Now, I am happiest when with my family or my close friends, those who inspire & encourage me. Yet, still, I am finding that solitude is returning slowly, gently, peacefully. It’s a choice I make because my spirit longs for it. My journal always helps; it is as vital to me as breathing now.. But over the last few days the message of solitude, refuge, retreat has been so clear that I’m going to take myself off for a few days to allow myself to fully connect with all that I am so that I can be all I can be.
This will be difficult for me, and was something I may not have done. My diary is already full, while I have other demands not yet fitted in, I feel guilty leaving others – and I have hardly ever been on my own, silent, in so many years that I can’t imagine how I will cope with it. And then, I read this perfect poem…
It is a difficult
lesson to learn today,
to leave one’s friends
and family and deliberately
practise the art of solitude
for an hour or a day
or a week.
For me, the break
is most difficult….
And yet, once it is done,
I find there is a quality
to being alone that is
Life rushed back into the void,
fuller than before.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh