When you want to put a sparkle in your step

Just do it. Get your journal out and explore possibility x

Your journey has already taken you a long way down the road, and you are no stranger to self inquiry. But now you’re looking for more. .. more intimacy, more connection, more expression, more fulfilment and more passion. And you are willing to find it wherever it comes, be it a life-altering trip to the HImalayas or in that small perfect gesture, that puts a sparkle in your step. You are also willing to find it by whatever means is available. It might be through the people you love, your creative life, your work or service to the world, your prayers and meditations or some great mix of all of those.

© Robin Rice

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Defining Yourself With Courage

All too often, the only thing that stands in our way and prevents us from living the life we want is ourselves. It’s what we do (or don’t do), and it’s about what we think. In fact, it is what we think that helps us sabotage our success or happiness, because thoughts always precede actions. I know all of this. I know how our beliefs limit our lives, meaning that we hold on to what no longer serves us, or we simply fail to live out loud, shine and be the blessing we are meant to be.

I really DO know this! And yet today a good friend shared this poem, and I loved it so much I’ve copied it to the blank front page of my journal. I knew I had left it blank for a reason.

And do you know why I loved it? Because I actually sat at the end of it and went, “wow!” This is how I want to define my life! Yet what I’ve actually been doing is exactly the opposite. In my head and heart, I have been defining it by my failures, my roadblocks and my disappointments. I have been focussing on where I went wrong with love instead of what went right – or IS right. I’ve mainly kept looking at my own pain, and the pain I caused others, and at what went wrong in my past when life was “mainly normal” instead of seeing that all of this IS normal. And it’s all amazing grace, and love and adventure.

May these words also make you see life in a different way. Be free.

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path;
I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.

I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced;
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.

I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted;
I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.

I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down;
I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.

I do not define myself by the number of mistakes I have made;
I define myself by the knowledge I have learned from trying a new way.

I am not my pain.

I am not my past.

I am that which has emerged from the fire.

Author Unknown

Daring To Be Happier

I’ve just changed my Twitter handle to Dare To Be Happier, as I know that is the one message I want to share with people that would make a difference in the world.  Over the past few weeks, as I looked forward to the next stage in my life, I realised that this anger and hurt is something that I can no longer hold on to if I am personally to Dare To Be Happier.  And since I’m commited to teaching this, I must learn it fully myself..!

The adventure begins..and I’m calling it an adventure, because I know it’s really important to frame things in a positive way.   Dealing with anger is something we all have to face, so we need to find ways to feel our emotions and express these appropriately, knowing when it may be appropriate to feel anger (against injustice for instance), and to feel our emotions instead of avoiding them.  The Project Me 101/Nurturing was something I anticipated as being less than totally easy, as I knew it would involve a lot of change – now, on the other side of that, I see the blessings.  So while part of me fears the work I have committed to do in at last dealing with anger, another part of me knows that it really IS time to let go of what no longer serves me – and I also now know that all will be well, because anger is simply stored somewhere if it’s not dealt with.  That can be our mind and our bodies, and when that happens, it harms us when we probably thought it was protecting us.

Because under anger is fear – and when we are afraid, we want protection, from being ignored, hurt, silenced, being mute, rejection, of not being loved, perfect or good enough.  On the other side of this is love, love for myself first, always.  Last week, my friend Jane spoke about finding out she was her OWN rock, and I thought, wow! Imagine how you’d live if you thought you were own rock?  And then I thought about how you’d live if you believed you were love and loved, because if you lived from such a place, there wouldn’t be that much room for anger, really… and you would dare to be happier.

And so I turned to my journal this morning, in my beautiful new office, with Wayne Dyer’s new I AM meditation CD in the background playing.  Having listened to it yesterday for the first time, he said to decide what “I am” you wanted to focus on, and he gave some examples, one of which was perfect for me – “I am in possession of my perfect job.”   I started with that, but towards the end, it just changed totally, and  became  I AM Love and forgiveness, which in itself seemed to appear out of nowhere, but then I know differently.  If I start to meditate thinking that, I can’t help but being changed.

Love is the antidote for fear, and therefore of anger. Somehow I know this will be important on me to focus on, and I park that.  I then start to read A Course in Miracles, but in the move to the office, I’ve lost my bookmarked space, so have to go back to the start of the chapter to find where I am again.  Oh the lessons in the words we choose; to find where I am again?! I hadn’t noticed it was called “Lessons in Love,” and I think, wow – there’s that perfect timing thing again.  And then I read the first few sentences – in a chapter called lessons in love, and this is what it says:

The relationship of anger to attack is obvious, but the relationship of anger to fear is not always apparent.  Anger always involves projection of separation, which must ultimately be accepted as one’s own responsibility, rather than being blamed on others.  Anger cannot occur unless you believe that you have been attacked, that your attack is justified in return, and that you are in no way responsible for it.”

Wow again.  Anger and fear, anger and fear and separation, our willingness to take responsibility and not blame – and the idea of attack being justified (even if the attack is on ourselves).  Prolonged anger harms us physiologically, with hormones and adrenalin activated, and it harms us pyschologically, as the fear behind it stops us living the life we want to live, in case “it” happens again – or doesn’t happen again, against our ego’s fears that we are not good enough, or that we will not be safe, or be strong.  The sooner we let it go, the sooner we let the past go, the sooner we are living the life we want.  This really IS Daring To Be Happier.. and yes, I dare.

Project Me – 68/101 – Having The Courage To Call A Halt

One must also accept that one has “uncreative” moments.  The more honestly one can accept that, the quicker these moments will pass.  One must have the courage to call a halt, to feel empty and discouraged.” Etty Hillesum

Project Me

Who’d have thought this “Project ME”  would be the adventure it’s been? And who’d have thought it would change me in so many ways, this concept of nurturing myself, my spirit, body and soul…? It may not be forever, but for now, I’ve taken my foot right off the pedal, slowed down, found new ways of looking at things, begun to explore what nurturing myself might mean in all areas of my life – and stopped planning for and worrying about what I was going to do next. 

Holidays, anyone?

One example of this is my holiday plans. I’m an organiser – it was evident in my childhood and has persisted through my life, which I’m sure hasn’t been to everyone’s taste!  Part of that was necessity – with four children five and under, an elderly aunt to care for, part time jobs and a lot of different church and community activities, I needed to know what was going to get done when.  Often, I over-extended myself, and it became a habit.  I had lists of daily, weekly and monthly things to do, I would  buy cards and gifts months in advance, and I’d nearly always organise the next holiday when the old one was barely past.  This year, all I did was book the time off work –  and that is an absolute first.  I am off work for two weeks, and just know the perfect holiday will turn up for me in the next day or so – so much so, I feel no anxiety about this, even though many of my friends do! 

The void

Writing in my journal earlier, I noted that for the first time in possibly twelve or more years, I was just content to be – not strive to be “other”, not pushing to grow, develop, change, encourage others or myself, or even figure out my purpose in life, to see if that had changed in any way.  I pulled out of courses I was going to run; not an easy decision, but the right one nonetheless.  And several weeks into this void, I am still okay with this lack of desire to do or be or do next.  I am at peace; I am slowing down enough to read poetry again and even today reading a poem that made me cry, as it connected with my soul.  My husband asked me when I was going to write again, and I said I didn’t know, but when the time was right, I would…

Trusting the process of life

With the perfect timing I am beginning to expect, I have just read this, from Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book “Simple Abundance”, and thought I would share it, as she shared a time when she was in a creative drought.  I don’t feel I’m in such a place, but her words still reminded me to be okay with doing nothing and trusting the process of life, as Louise Hay would say.

“What do I do?” she asked her agent…

You don’t do anything,” she told me.  Zilch.  Nada. Zip.  Wait it out.  Accept the fallow period as graciously as you can, and get ready for a quantum leap in creativity or consciousness. 

It is so difficult to come to a halt, especially when we want to get on with our careers, relationships, health, creativity.  But when you’re too parched to pray, beyond tears, or too drained to give a damn, it’s time to cease and desist.  Not all our hours are billable.

No, this does not mean you can quit.  You still have to go through the motions, keep showing up for work: on the page, at the drawing board, stove, sewing machine, computer.  Continue to prepare the canvas, mosten the clay.  Pretend you’re a creative temp, here, to fill in until your authentic self arrives.  In the meantime, defer making any life-altering creative decisions until you receive operating instructions.  Your only assignment is to replenish the well… Keep in touch with your authentic self with the daily dialogue…

Often the derailment of too many dreams can bring on a drought, but whenever there’s a dry period, there’s still plenty of Light.  We’re just blinded by dark dust storms.  Arid despair can often result from nurturance deprivation: not eating well, not sleeping enough, working too hard and too long without anything to look forward to.  Dona Cooper, one of the most creative and productive women I know, frequently reminds me, especially when my plans don’t proceed at the speed of light, that “This too, is God.”…..

Today, if you’re feeling uncreative, don’t despair.  Start getting excited and save your strength.  You’re being prepared for a quantum leap in authenticity.”

Woo hoo! If you’re going to leap, it might as well be a quantum leap!

Project Me – 36/101 – More Miracles of Next Steps

Project Me – 36/101 – More Miracles of Next Steps

And they kept happening..

Miracle 5: Lighten Up

I’m struggling with the changes going on, that I know need to happen and my reasons for not doing them – so many things; in fact, I’m sure this mental confusion may have led to me getting the flu (thanks Diane!) Through Spiral Heart’s Billy Goats Gruff event I see it’s time to lighten up; I am often too serious, too conscientious, doing so much out of duty. But change is hard -.and then I read this, which makes me change my attitude to this:

do whatever you can to make your transformational change a joy and a pleasure. Have fun!” Louise Hay

Miracle 6: Pilgrimage

I’ve already written about how this felt like a pilgrimage to me, and just when I am struggling with that idea, I read these definitions in Celtic Daily Prayer (daily reading):

A pilgrimage is “a journeying to a particular place, in the expectation that such a journey will have deep signficance”

Miracle 7: Relationships

I’m coming down with the flu and in a bad mood, so much so all I am focussing on is problems in any relationship I have, and that same day, Louise Hay reminds me that “relationships are a mirror of ourselves...” and I realise it’s ME that needs to change

Miracle 8: Surrender

I use Cheryl Richardson’s Grace cards (a phone app, though you can check it out here – http://www.cherylrichardson.com/wp-content/themes/crichardson/TwinkleStars_content.html) and the word I get is Surrender “the key that unlocks the door to grace”  I vehemently react to this concept, having struggled to be independent and stand up for my life – but realising this means surrender to the Universe, to what is, changes my thinking and feelings about this.  And a friend sends me a quote that says “I haven’t surrendered, I quit.”  This just feels like a load is off my back; the struggle has ended

Miracle 8: Grace

The app generates the cards randomly.  You swipe your hand backwards/forwards and it stops at a card.  I get “Watch” – “believe in the power of grace.  When one least expects it, a new door will open and the light of grace will illuminate our next step.”  That’s why I call this Miracles of next steps – because since the 13 July, every solitary day since that, when I have opened the app, no matter what card was last pulled, it opens at Watch.  I’m watching

Miracle 9: Goosebumps

I blog about the law of twice and go to work.  The day before was my worst ever day at work, so much so I had to just go for a walk to clear my head as I had so much to do and wasn’t feeling well.  On the Friday, it is a little bit quieter, and there are brief opportunities to talk to colleagues.  A conversation starts about Jack Black, with one colleague saying they would have liked to hear him, and another said they had heard him.  Sarah said she had really enjoyed what he said, but the one thing that stuck in her head was this law of twice.  I looked at her and said, Sarah, you will never believe what I posted today – sent her it through, and she said that she had goosebumps reading it.  Me too!

Miracle 10: Cycles

In some ways I feel at the edge of a void; scared, uncertain – not knowing what my next steps are, or who I might be.  Pamela asks me “why do you need to know?” And in panic I react, saying “I just need to know.  I’ve always needed to know what my next steps are, to have a plan.”  She reminded me this wasn’t actually the case – and wasn’t I learning that all I needed was the next step, revealed when I was ready?  That same day, I read:

In moving through the difficult stages of our lives, we can leanr to trust our heart to these cycles and their unfolding as surely as we can trust roots to go down and leaves to push up through the earth of our garden.” Jack Kornfield.  And he goes on to say:

“We can trust that whatever calls our attention in practice – our body, our personal history, the community around us- in or out of retreat, it will bring us what we need to live fully and genuinely in the timeless here and now.”

“We are learning to open in the timeless unfolding of our lives, being in greater and greater harmony with what is, with a greater inclusiveness of our heart to all the seasons of our lives.”

Perfect timing. Perfect

And still, they come…

 

 

Project Me – 37/101 – The Miracles of Small Steps

At the beginning of 2012, I set my theme for this year, and part of it was to see miracles. Not the big Walking On Water miracles (though I believe in these), but the other type of miracles, where things happen that you can’t explain at exactly the right time.  Jung called this synchronicity – I still call it miracles, because you can’t explain it, and the timing is just so perfect for your soul.  They’ve been happening – so much so, I started a specific journal to record them!  And when I started Project Me I thought I expected some to happen – but not quite so many!  What I now realise is that though I’m a state of flux, a place of change, all I ever need is the next step – take that step, and I am encouraged, comforted, and I flow with the Universe.

Miracle 1: On being vulnerable

I feel vulnerable sharing this journey publicly – more so than I thought I would, yet I wanted to do it to keep me accountable and to encourage someone.  I open myself to ridicule, criticism (spoken or unspoken), to being ignored as well.  Feeling vulnerable isn’t pleasant, and as I’m feeling this feeling, just as I’m preparing to start the Project, I read this on my Louise Hay calendar, “I let go of all expectations.  Other people are free to be themselves, and I am free to be me.”  Time to be me, then!

Miracle 2: Creativity

I have no real idea how to nurture myself.  I meet a friend on Team Caroline and she asks me HOW I will do this, and I give some standard answers – more massages, baths, reading.  The answer satisfied for the time it was asked, but it wasn’t enough.  I come home and google “nurture” and I find lots on nurturing your child, and your creativity, but not a great deal else.  Still, I read some information on creativity – and realise I DO need to nurture that side of me; it’s something I don’t do enough.  I even consider being wildly creative, as my favourite Wild Women are on Team Caroline!  The next morning, while still thinking about this, I open an email from Oprah’s life class and find 13 quotes to inspire your creativity! 

“The most creative act you will ever undertake is the act of creating yourself.” Deepak Chopra

“You have to leave the city of your comfort, and go into the wilderness of your intuition.” Alan Alda

“I see your life as already artful, just waiting and ready for you to make art.” Toni Morrison

“If you are unhappy with anything – whatever is bringing you down – get rid of it.  Because you will find that when you are free, your time, creativity, your true self comes out.”  Tina Turner

Miracle 3: Nurturing my spirit

I write about how I realise I hadn’t spent time nurturing my spirit, and had suffered the consequences of this… much later that night, I sat down to read an email from someone whose partner was murdered as a result of knife crime. I don’t recall how we first made contact, perhaps it was something to do with work I was doing with some victims of such crimes, but however it happened, over the past year she has become a friend as well. And she’d read my blog – and then emailed me this, but I hadn’t read it at the time she emailed me, waiting until I could read it properly – yet the timing of when I read it was perfect.

 “You are quite right to devote some time to you. I did that and I honestly don’t think I would have managed to reconnect to myself and the world in the way I have. After my partner’s death I could hardly read anything for pleasure which was another huge loss. I began by reading poetry because there were no long sentences and moved on to some of the spiritual writing from my (long lost) hippyish youth.

I read in a book on grief, a new favourite topic, by Alan D Wolfelt that we know we are supposed to exercise our bodies 30 minutes daily but we need to exercise our spirit for 30 minutes daily. It made sense and the latter was easier for me than the former! I found ways to do it, often meditating, sometimes just a walk, listening to a lot of meditative music Gregorian chants, Buddhist chants the list is long and of course writing so now it has almost become a part of me. It is strange because I sometimes get blasé and think I don’t need it or I don’t have time and that is often when I take a big dip again. So in my usual long winded way I am saying yes nurture yourself, 30 minutes a day – we are worth that!!!”

I know I have been starting again to nurture my spirit – but my body? I realise that this is something I just don’t do..

Yet – Miracle 4: Movement

The next day, I read about the Stanford Creativity and Business course followed by “wildly creative women” – and they say that “strenghtening the mind/body connection is so important to being more creative in your life.”  This gets me thinking about that connection.  In the past 14 years, I realise that I’ve always been thinking, attending courses, reading, growing, learning – but there’s been a disconnect with my body.  Later that same day, Jane from Team Caroline sends me through a list of questions to help me consider what nurture might mean to me – and I make a list of what makes me feel alive. It says, “the sea, cycling, walking in the hills, powerful music, passion, being on top of a hill, dancing” a among other things, most of which are to do with movement of some sort, many of which I do so little of.  This will change – in fact it has already changed! I’m cycling, walking, climbing 5 flights of stairs at work, dancing!

Am I on the right path for me?  It feels right – and then I read this from Louise Hay:

“The holistic philosophy is to nurture and nourish the entire being – the body, the mind, and the spirit.  If we ignore any of thes areas, we are incomplete; we lack wholeness.”

The first four miracles of timing; of next steps or the right article or quote exactly when I need it.  Wow! I’m stunned in gratitude… at the same time as things are getting really shaken up, where I enter a void of uncertainty and anxiety.  Though I know my soul is getting shaken at a deep level, to change me, it is an unpleasant place to be.. yet still, the miracles of next steps keep happening…

Project Me 18/101 — Move, and the way will open

Move, and the way will open.”

– Author Unknown

I really love my Team Caroline. They have my best interests in heart and love me as I am while helping me be all I can be. They are also courageous enough to hold me accountable and to ask the right questions, as well as being wise enough to trust their gut and intuition and ask the questions they know need asked.

 

Over the past few years I’ve seen that questions are such a powerful tool for effecting change. They force you to go inside and weigh up what you really feel, or you get the instinctive answer that’s got real truth behind it. So one of my team Caroline (Coach & trainer Jane Talbot)  read one of the posts and responded – almost immediately – with a whole raft of questions about two weeks ago. And there they sat. I knew they were good questions. I knew I needed to answer them – but knowing isn’t doing. I avoided them. Then late last week I remembered that “what you resist, persists” – and also remembered that my pattern is to avoid what is sometimes better for my soul.

 

So I sat with my journal and explored them. Sometimes I had to ask myself sub questions to get a “yes” or “no” response to check that it was a real answer for me. I realised I do know what nurturing means to me and I know how to do it. It means being grateful, nurturing myself with the food I eat and the amount of sleep I get. It means time spent with dear friends and time spent with soul friends.

 

And the most important thing I learned? That nourishment is balance, the dance of balancing body, mind and spirit. In the past ten years in particular, I’ve nourished my mind through hundreds if not thousands of books on a huge variety of subjects. Over the past three or so years I’ve begun to nourish my spirit and soul again, finding spiritual community and a new way of believing in God and a Universal power that is loving and greater than me. But I’ve failed to nourish my body. I’ve pushed it too far and got many sports injuries do I gave up. I’ve eaten unhealthy foods and too much of anything. What I realised above all is that I don’t nourish my body – which is meant to move – by just sitting too much!

 

I sit all day at work. I sit in the car or train. I sit down after dinner. I sit to journal. I sit to catch up on Facebook, Twitter, emails. And I’ve been sitting down to watch TV, and even when I catch up with friends over coffee or dinner.  This is WAY out of balance! So much of what nourishes me and gives me energy was actually about moving! It was walking by the sea, cycling in the country, hill-walking, gardening, dancing or even cooking soul food!

 

Movement; this is a message for me with many layers. Being stuck AND chaos bring movement at a deep level. And things are changing. I WANT to walk, I WANT to cycle – and ..I’m feeling good!  I get what Mary Whitehouse said when she said, “ I came to see that movement is one of the great laws of life. It is the primary medium of our aliveness, the flow of energy going on in us like a river all the time, awake or asleep, twenty-four hours a day. Our movement is our behaviour; there is a direct connection between what we are like and how we move…”

 

If you want to try Jane’s questions, here they are:

 

How To Nurture Yourself

 

What makes YOU feel good?

What makes you feel alive?

What gives you energy rather than takes it away?

What makes you feel YOU?

What feels effortless?

When, where and with whom are you most content?

What’s present when you are not feeling nurtured (that’s usually missing?)

And what’s missing that’s usually present?

How would you know that you are nurturing yourself?

What is feeling nurtured / self-nurture like?

© Jane Talbot

Project Me 18/101 – To Be A Pilgrim?

When I journal, sometimes I just write out how I’m feeling, sometimes I make plans and record dreams and feelings.  I realised last week how much I need to spend this time nurturing my spirit, and as one friend said, 30 minutes a day is the least we deserve to do that in! With my new working pattern, I can get up at the same time I always did and spend that time, guaranteed.

I read a few books in this time, books that nourish me – I’ve been working my way through Louise Hay’s How to Heal Your Life since January, sentence or paragraph at a time.  I’m also using a book I bought at Lindisfarne last year, called Celtic Daily Prayer and sometimes I’ve loved the theme of the month and sometimes I haven’t really got a lot out of it.  I’m on day 11 of July and it’s been all about pilgrimages and why these can be important, and as I sat down to read it, I did so with a heavy heart, thinking it wasn’t really worth my while reading it at all.  I love how the Universe laughs when we do that – because what I read was about T S Eliot, and how he noted that the Magi made a pilgrimage, but that act made life difficult for them because they “return where they came from, but changed, no longer at ease as they were before.”  And suddenly I realised the wonder of the timing again, and the truth of what it said.  I went back to the start of the month, to the introduction, where it said a pilgrimage was “a journeying to a particular place, in the expectation that such a journey will have deep significance.” It also said, “All kinds of people go on pilgrimages of sone sort or another, not all of them believers.  It is a chance for things to move, to change, perhaps even for God to break into their lives.”

 

I had created this project to learn what nurturing might mean to me, and to encourage me then put any learning into practice.  It would mean I would move, change, and yes, – the idea of just focussing on me is deeply significanct for me.  Though my initial thoughts of pilgrimage were of hard lonely paths, with occasional stop offs to get basic needs of food, water and sleep met, if it is a journey of significance, with an aim in mind, then I’m a pilgrim.

THIS is a journey to ME, and a journey of change, and change can be less than totally easy, and is usually more permanent than not, especially when it’s a journey of the spirit and heart.  If it’s a journey then there are days when I could get lost or side-tracked, or days when I have to deal with unexpected obstacles – but having that clear aim in mind will help get me back on the road I need to be on.  And since I’ve always been more of a traveller than a tourist, I’m sure I’ll find much of what happens an adventure!

Project Me – 14/101 – Pollyanna’s not playing

When I started this project I intended to post something every day. I knew I’d learn something about nurturing myself every day, so it shouldn’t be that hard – but the lessons this week have come so fast, I couldn’t quite catch my breath. It’s been one of those weeks, or times in your life, where your life pivots. There have been lots of changes, so I can change… and there’s been a bit of chaos thrown in for good measure.

I met one of Team Caroline yesterday, and was reminded that even Pollyanna went through times when she couldn’t play the Glad Game. I’ve been so out of sorts this week – grumpy, feeling down, unsettled, and feeling less than totally positive, and not able to encourage myself to be happier, let alone anyone else. It’s been tough at work, as my colleagues – who really really need their holidays – have started to take them, and that inevitablly makes things harder for the rest of us. While on one level we know can only do what we can do, the fact is that I work with the best bunch of committed, conscientious professional people who push themselves hard, and it can be hard for all of us to remember that, and not feel tremendous external as well as internal pressure. So put this together with everything else that was going on this week, and I know I can actually cut myself some slack here – because strange things were happening.

In the house, I set the grill on fire by forgetting about it – had I left the house, it would have burned the place down. I had left the hob burning a day or so before. And as I was in such bad form, I just went to bed early – forgetting I had put a ham on to cook! I’m luckily surrounded by others who were looking out for us when I wasn’t. And that phrase is significant….as it was as if I started looking after me, and took my eye off everyone else. Or that I was somehow sabotaging what I had set out to do, or that I was being reminded to remember things. Hhhm…

My next day wasn’t much better; and for me, that’s a BAD THING. I tend to be pretty stable in my moods, I’m naturally optomistic, and to stay in this place wasn’t a nice feeling at all. I know I can change my thoughts. I know I am responsible for my moods, for my own happiness. I know to be grateful in the dark times. But again – knowing isn’t doing.

And here’s what I wrote in my journal on the day things started to change again:

” What is the difference? I’ve lost count of what day I’m meant to be at – but in the past six days, I’ve had no way to centre myself… I’ve been too busy to journal. Which isn’t actually true. I HAVEN’T journalled – and that is quite a different thing, and my life and my relationships suffered as a result.”

Things weren’t to get easier, oh no! But at least I was unstuck, could start playing the Glad Game again – and find many things to be grateful for – and learn some really important things about money, stories, friends, questions, balance and movement, which I’m going to share in different posts over the next few days.

Project Me 8&9/101 – Too Busy To Refresh My Spirit

Louise Hay says “all the theory in the world is useless unless we know how to apply it and make a change.”

I’m at the stage of learning the theory, so can cut myself some slack. And after the last few days, I need to.

Days when on the face of it, I should have been nurtured. After all, I had an adventure, stayed at a lovely hotel, ate amazing food and spent time with some good friends. But there were also days of no space to refresh and calm my spirit as there were much to busy days at work plus how I felt plus getting upset over money – and then being subject to an attempt to steal what money I had! Thankfully my bank caught it and alerted me but I’ve had to cancel my bank cards as a result. Now if that ain’t the Law of Attraction in operation, I will eat my hat! So a good lesson there – to nurture myself in what I focus on. Which I was also reminded of last night by some good friends too; my attitude is my responsibility.

So instead of continuing my downward path of yesterday – including setting the grill alight & later forgetting I had put ham on to cook (because all the windows were open to let the smoke from the fire out – so I didn’t smell it!) – I went to bed early. THAT was good for me, and probably for everyone else around me, and not just for the sleep.

When I woke I asked myself what was going on? What was different? And came back to my first point. I wasn’t too busy to refresh my spirit; I had chosen not to do it. I had chosen to spend my time in other ways rather than spend time alone with my current spiritual books and my journal.

So guess what I’m doing today then? Yep. Shifting my priorities so I am first again.

And before I forget. The two questions. I’ve no idea where I found them alas, but someone recommended you stop throughout your day and ask yourself:
1 What am I feeling right now?
2 What do I need?

Powerful questions, or at least I’ve found them so. When I remember to ask – and listen and act on the answers.