Be strong enough to be yourself 100%

Love this by Stacey Charter …

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me. . . or leave me.

Accept me–or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person,
just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.

Project Me 18/101 — Move, and the way will open

Move, and the way will open.”

– Author Unknown

I really love my Team Caroline. They have my best interests in heart and love me as I am while helping me be all I can be. They are also courageous enough to hold me accountable and to ask the right questions, as well as being wise enough to trust their gut and intuition and ask the questions they know need asked.


Over the past few years I’ve seen that questions are such a powerful tool for effecting change. They force you to go inside and weigh up what you really feel, or you get the instinctive answer that’s got real truth behind it. So one of my team Caroline (Coach & trainer Jane Talbot)  read one of the posts and responded – almost immediately – with a whole raft of questions about two weeks ago. And there they sat. I knew they were good questions. I knew I needed to answer them – but knowing isn’t doing. I avoided them. Then late last week I remembered that “what you resist, persists” – and also remembered that my pattern is to avoid what is sometimes better for my soul.


So I sat with my journal and explored them. Sometimes I had to ask myself sub questions to get a “yes” or “no” response to check that it was a real answer for me. I realised I do know what nurturing means to me and I know how to do it. It means being grateful, nurturing myself with the food I eat and the amount of sleep I get. It means time spent with dear friends and time spent with soul friends.


And the most important thing I learned? That nourishment is balance, the dance of balancing body, mind and spirit. In the past ten years in particular, I’ve nourished my mind through hundreds if not thousands of books on a huge variety of subjects. Over the past three or so years I’ve begun to nourish my spirit and soul again, finding spiritual community and a new way of believing in God and a Universal power that is loving and greater than me. But I’ve failed to nourish my body. I’ve pushed it too far and got many sports injuries do I gave up. I’ve eaten unhealthy foods and too much of anything. What I realised above all is that I don’t nourish my body – which is meant to move – by just sitting too much!


I sit all day at work. I sit in the car or train. I sit down after dinner. I sit to journal. I sit to catch up on Facebook, Twitter, emails. And I’ve been sitting down to watch TV, and even when I catch up with friends over coffee or dinner.  This is WAY out of balance! So much of what nourishes me and gives me energy was actually about moving! It was walking by the sea, cycling in the country, hill-walking, gardening, dancing or even cooking soul food!


Movement; this is a message for me with many layers. Being stuck AND chaos bring movement at a deep level. And things are changing. I WANT to walk, I WANT to cycle – and ..I’m feeling good!  I get what Mary Whitehouse said when she said, “ I came to see that movement is one of the great laws of life. It is the primary medium of our aliveness, the flow of energy going on in us like a river all the time, awake or asleep, twenty-four hours a day. Our movement is our behaviour; there is a direct connection between what we are like and how we move…”


If you want to try Jane’s questions, here they are:


How To Nurture Yourself


What makes YOU feel good?

What makes you feel alive?

What gives you energy rather than takes it away?

What makes you feel YOU?

What feels effortless?

When, where and with whom are you most content?

What’s present when you are not feeling nurtured (that’s usually missing?)

And what’s missing that’s usually present?

How would you know that you are nurturing yourself?

What is feeling nurtured / self-nurture like?

© Jane Talbot

Project Me – 4/101 – I Need The Oxygen First

A better day today, in all-ways…

– walked to the train and back again, and Lee met me with Bailey on the way home

– had a lovely lunch hour catching up with friends instead of racing around like I too often do

–  cleared all my office drawers in preparation for our office move and de-cluttered in the process (always a nurturing thing to do)

– asked for help in making dinner and got a lovely chicken casserole made for me, and help washing the dishes without asking

– Made a note to myself to get a better umbrella so I can make sure my hair doesn’t start to go quite as frizzy given the amount of rain we are getting! Or else nurture myself by getting up earlier to wash my hair and make sure it’s rain-ready!

– chose a lovely salad for work/bought a packet of crisps (my previous downfall) and ate three & threw the rest out, asking myself how this was nurturing me

– although hungry, and with lots of time on my hands, walked through M&S looking at various things asking what would nurture me,and realised nothing would when I was going home to dinner – and treated myself to a coffee and a newspaper instead

The funny thing is that it’s seems to be catching.  My lovely husband (who does so wonderfully nurture me, when I let him) has treated me to a spa day and afternoon tea at some point in the future.  And one of the members of Team Caroline has changed phones to give herself a break from social networking too, as a way of nurturing herself.  I’m loving that! I’m loving that in me making this a priority for me, it IS like the oxygen theory.  On an aeroplane, if need be, the pilot will advise YOU to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping anyone else, as only then can you honestly help someone else… seems this nurturing malarkey might be the same.  By giving myself permission to do this, I am in some way giving others permission to do the same, so we are all happier.  Whoop!