You can only live in a happiness bubble if you’ve made a choice not to be real. Life is always a mixture of good times and bad. Even Pollyanna knew that.
One of the greatest lessons we can learn is to see the positive in the times that are less than totally positive – or downright painful. To see the positive, or see the teaching, is what changes our perspective and allows us to move forward again.
Real happiness never means the total absence of sadness, grief or pain. Nor does it mean we ignore these things so we can concentrate on more positive ones, because when we shut ourselves down to any emotion, we ultimately shut ourselves down to ALL our emotions.
And that would be a disaster – because how then would we recognise happiness or joy when they come? How could we feel or appreciate them fully?
We deny our humanity when we pretend to be happy or when we any of our emotions. We must connect our body and mind and feel real life – but we must also remember not to get stuck in a dark place.
Death happens, serious illness happens. Our lives can be turned upside down in an instant and we are faced with living nightmares that tear our hearts apart. At these times, we get through our days by living moment by moment, one step at a time.
What we can’t afford to do is to stop living, to allow ourselves to get stuck or frozen in that place. We must move forward, learn new ways of living in the landscape of the new world that faces us – and choose to be happier, despite what has happened or is happening to us.
The choices we make at these times – to do what we can to get us back to a happy place – are what makes our lives worth living well. Our happiness is always a choice, moment by moment, thought by thought and action by action. By choosing happiness, we allow ourselves to see what is still good in our life, and we allow ourselves to create new opportunities to know happiness.
It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to toys who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. The Boy’s Uncle made me Real,’ he said. ‘That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.