Today, be real – and ….#daretobehappier

You can only live in a happiness bubble if you’ve made a choice not to be real. Life is always a mixture of good times and bad. Even Pollyanna knew that.

One of the greatest lessons we can learn is to see the positive in the times that are less than totally positive – or downright painful. To see the positive, or see the teaching, is what changes our perspective and allows us to move forward again.

Real happiness never means the total absence of sadness, grief or pain. Nor does it mean we ignore these things so we can concentrate on more positive ones, because when we shut ourselves down to any emotion, we ultimately shut ourselves down to ALL our emotions.

And that would be a disaster – because how then would we recognise happiness or joy when they come? How could we feel or appreciate them fully?

We deny our humanity when we pretend to be happy or when we any of our emotions. We must connect our body and mind and feel real life – but we must also remember not to get stuck in a dark place.

Death happens, serious illness happens. Our lives can be turned upside down in an instant and we are faced with living nightmares that tear our hearts apart. At these times, we get through our days by living moment by moment, one step at a time.

What we can’t afford to do is to stop living, to allow ourselves to get stuck or frozen in that place. We must move forward, learn new ways of living in the landscape of the new world that faces us – and choose to be happier, despite what has happened or is happening to us.

The choices we make at these times – to do what we can to get us back to a happy place – are what makes our lives worth living well. Our happiness is always a choice, moment by moment, thought by thought and action by action. By choosing happiness, we allow ourselves to see what is still good in our life, and we allow ourselves to create new opportunities to know happiness.



A Blessing For The Interim Time

Ever been stuck in a place you just don’t want to be? Or felt hemmed in, unable to see options? Or mired in the calm, knowing what has been your normal to date will change – but because your future is unclear, nothing is clear, and you are stuck between two worlds?

I’ve been there; a few of my close friends are there just now, and I know some others are struggling with what is, without the comfort of having any security about what lies ahead.  A treacle of uncertainty.

I’ve been reading a lot of John O’Donohue’s books lately.  I have tried to read his books before, but I struggled with the pace of the books and the poetic language, so never got a lot from them.  Yet in this year of letting go, seeing miracles, and slowing down, I am learning to appreciate the beauty of his writing.  He has a book of blessings, called To Bless The Space Between Us; I posted one on St Patrick’s Day… and I hope that this blesses you who are in that place, so you know a new dawn will come.


A Blessing For The Interim Time

When near the end of day, life has drained

Out of light, and it is too soon

For the mind of night to have darkened things,

No place looks like itself, loss of outline

Makes everything look strangely in-between,

Unsure of what has been, or what might come.

In this wan light, even trees seem groundless.

In a while, it will be night, but nothing

Here seems TO believe the relief of dark.

You are in this time of the interim

Where everything seems withheld.

The path you took to get here has washed out;

The way forward is still concealed from you.

“The old is not old enough to have died away;

The new is still too young to be born.”

You cannot lay claim to anything;

In this place of dusk,

Your eyes are blurred;

And there is no mirror.

Everyone else has lost sight of your heart

And you can see nowhere to put your trust;

You know you have to make your own way through.

As far as you can, hold your confidence.

Do not allow your confusion to squander

This call which is loosening

Your roots in false ground,

That you might become free

From all you have outgrown.

What is being transfigured in your mind,

And it is more difficult and slow to become new.

The more faithfully you can endure here,

The more refined your heart will become

For your arrival in the new dawn.

By John O’Dononhue