I leave the room for goodness still to flow

My hand
is clenched –
gripped tightly
with the thoughts that
bind me to the past.
It’s packed with old assumptions
and regrets, and tightly holds
beliefs that bind
and limit life and lives,
by fears of being seen,
of shining.

I turn my hand around

and let them go.
And in that braver choice,
I leave the room
for goodness still to flow.

© Caroline Johnstone 2017

Harness Your Mind Now

We learn to protect ourselves from pain – sometimes to such an extent that we destroy ourselves, our self esteem, our relationships.

Can we change? We can – we aren’t leopards. There is hope for anyone to change, if they choose to change. It may be instant or it may take considerable time, where you spend time in analysis to figure out why you acted in the way you did, why you made the choices you made – but and only where you use the information to move you forward.

There are many reasons why we don’t change. In the first instance we may not even be aware that we are continue to do the wrong things for all the right reasons, and the cycle perpetuates itself. Or it may be that we don’t change because we are not sure if it is possible to do things differently. Yet if we continue to do what we have always done, why should we be surprised that we continue to get the same results time after time.

What if we gave ourselves permission to try something different? What if it what we tried didn’t work – could we be gentle enough on ourselves to acknowledge the bravery that made us try something different, and wise enough to learn the lessons from that failure so we can try something else?

If we live the lives we want to live we can’t continue to constantly worry about other people, what they want, their problems, their issues. They are responsible for choosing their own path in life, so remind them of that. If you feel that you are always thinking of others needs, trying to help them, always giving never accepting, always controlling or being controlled, or feeling angry, upset or used then you may have deeper issues to deal with and a therapy such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy may help.

If your moods are dependant on others moods or behaviour, then there is hope – for there is absolutely no need for this to be the case. You decide how you think. And making that choice to harness your mind is the most significant change you might ever make in your life.

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Defining Yourself With Courage

All too often, the only thing that stands in our way and prevents us from living the life we want is ourselves. It’s what we do (or don’t do), and it’s about what we think. In fact, it is what we think that helps us sabotage our success or happiness, because thoughts always precede actions. I know all of this. I know how our beliefs limit our lives, meaning that we hold on to what no longer serves us, or we simply fail to live out loud, shine and be the blessing we are meant to be.

I really DO know this! And yet today a good friend shared this poem, and I loved it so much I’ve copied it to the blank front page of my journal. I knew I had left it blank for a reason.

And do you know why I loved it? Because I actually sat at the end of it and went, “wow!” This is how I want to define my life! Yet what I’ve actually been doing is exactly the opposite. In my head and heart, I have been defining it by my failures, my roadblocks and my disappointments. I have been focussing on where I went wrong with love instead of what went right – or IS right. I’ve mainly kept looking at my own pain, and the pain I caused others, and at what went wrong in my past when life was “mainly normal” instead of seeing that all of this IS normal. And it’s all amazing grace, and love and adventure.

May these words also make you see life in a different way. Be free.

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared in my path;
I define myself by the courage I’ve found to forge new roads.

I do not define myself by how many disappointments I’ve faced;
I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again.

I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted;
I define myself by how much I have loved, and been willing to love again.

I do not define myself by how many times I have been knocked down;
I define myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet.

I do not define myself by the number of mistakes I have made;
I define myself by the knowledge I have learned from trying a new way.

I am not my pain.

I am not my past.

I am that which has emerged from the fire.

Author Unknown