A prayer for times of transition 

God, my Source of Strength:

A season is turning in my life

Calling me to make ready:

Walk with me, I pray. 

This unwrapped course lies divided ahead 

Urging careful determination:

Walk with me, I pray. 

The gate has swung open and everything’s loose 

Bidding that someone be left behind:

Walk with me, I pray. 

Until the turbulent waters clear 

I reach for your mercy 

And pray for wisdom:

Walk with me, I pray. 
Keri Wehlander

What “life advice” are YOU passing on to the next generation?

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. James Baldwin

 

If this quote is true, then what we do is even more important than what we say.  I was out for lunch this week with a friend who works with difficult children in schools.  The conversation turned to the sometimes less than totally positive impact parents have on their children. She has the  type of world view that means she views her own experiences and chooses to either focus on the positive ones, or on the lessons learned from the less than positive ones.  As a psychologist, she knows that it might help her to understand the past, but it still won’t change it, so this way, the memory works for her positively in all her experiences.

And so we got chatting about what she called Sayings To Live Your Life By – the type of distilled belief that your parents shared with you or others that affected how they lived their lives.  Things like, “money doesn’t grow on trees,” and “what goes around comes around,” or “it takes one to know one.”  She said that such sayings become values, and for that reason, as adults, we need to check that they are still valid and useful; otherwise they are going to impact every relationship we have.  

It got me thinking.  About what “sayings” I believed about relationships, children, love, money and life in general, so I tried a little exercise I’d come across some time before.  I took my journal out, used some of these headings, and then wrote under them, “I should.”  Then without editing them in any way (as I needed to see what really came up), I just started writing quickly about things I thought I should do, or ways I should behave or think.   A few minutes later, and I was surprised to see I had forty odd beliefs to examine further. 

For each belief, I then asked, “Why?” This brought up an interesting range of responses, some of which were common sense or something I’d learned over my life – but often I heard someone else’s voice saying it first.  Often it was a parent, but sometimes it was a teacher, a peer or a friend.  When I looked a the why’s of a belief, I could see that some of them were less than totally useful, so I then asked myself if I STILL thought this was a belief I should hold on to. If it wasn’t, I found a better one to replace it with.  Now when the initial Saying comes to my mind, I replace it with the new one.  I know from experience that this process of replacing one thought with another changes my beliefs.   My children are now grown up, so I can do nothing about my past influence (or lack of it), but for the past number of years, I have tried to guide them by some Sayings For Life that are mine, and they can try them on for size.  They include:

  • Life is not a dress rehearsal (passed on from their granddad)
  • If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well (passed on from their granny)
  • Do what makes you happy; other people are responsible for their own happiness
  • Treat others with respect where possible
  • Be nice to people on the way up, as you will meet them on the way down
  • It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed
  • Don’t settle for second best in any area of your life – relationships especially
  • You’re the average of your five closest friends
  • Money doesn’t bring happiness, so learn to live within your means

It’s an exercise worth doing, to flush out the Sayings you are unconsciously passing on to your children or allowing to influence your relationships that are less than totally helpful.

Then you can decide – What one saying could you now choose to add that could have a positive effect on them?

The meaning of success by Ralph Waldo Emerson

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a little better;
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
Because you have lived
This is the meaning of success.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The Power Of One by Ashish Ram

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what’s true.
One life can make the difference,
You see, IT’S UP TO YOU!

By Ashish Ram

 

Walt Whitman – on everyday miracles

Why make much of a miracle

WHY! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the edge of the water, 5
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love—or sleep in the bed at night with any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a summer forenoon, 10
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds—or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sun-down—or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new moon in spring;
Or whether I go among those I like best, and that like me best—mechanics, boatmen, farmers, 15
Or among the savans—or to the soiree—or to the opera,
Or stand a long while looking at the movements of machinery,
Or behold children at their sports,
Or the admirable sight of the perfect old man, or the perfect old woman,
Or the sick in hospitals, or the dead carried to burial, 20
Or my own eyes and figure in the glass;
These, with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring—yet each distinct, and in its place.

To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle, 25
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass—the frames, limbs, organs, of men and women, and all that concerns them,
All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.

To me the sea is a continual miracle; 30
The fishes that swim—the rocks—the motion of the waves—the ships, with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?

 

Give the world your best anyway by Mother Theresa

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.
Be honest and transparent anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People who really want help may attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt.
Give the world your best anyway.

Mother Theresa

Remember – life isn’t a dress rehearsal, so dare to be happier! x

T: @DareToBeHappier